Discomfort, Westerns and Boredom

01.08.10
Friday visit.

Dad seemed to be in a constant state of discomfort today. He wore an expression of discern on his face the whole time because of it. I wish dad wasn’t going through this, but he is. I told him I probably wouldn’t go by on Saturday. I need to give him a break from seeing me. I need a day to catch up on things and I’m hoping one of my sisters will go over and stay for more than just a few hours. I’m betting I’ll end up over there in the evening. I don’t want to experience a day without dad. I’m afraid that if I don’t start letting him go it will be harder on me once he leaves.

I’ve begun to worry about dad getting bored. I know that probably sounds silly, but if I were in his situation I’d be racked with boredom. There really isn’t much on TV worth watching, and that and the radio are his only entertainment staples. I started attaching my laptop to his TV and we watched westerns on Netflix. He likes Columbo and Gunsmoke, so we’re going to do a marathon of that on Sunday. Dad tries to keep his mind clear of bad thoughts and much of what you see on TV is pretty bad. He gets extremely agitated when he sees something that is inappropriate. I’ve noticed that when he’s watching a movie he gets the chance to rest better. The surrounding silence around the movie must be peaceful to him. When he’s just resting in general people have a tendency to just talk and having to listen to conversations just wears him out.

Is it unhealthy for me to call every morning to say good morning to him and then go and stay with him during the day, then before too late in the evening call him and say good night? I feel like I’ve started a routine that he expects, and if I break the routine he’ll notice it. I’ve been doing this for almost a month now, and I’ve noticed that his voice lights up when I call him like that, maybe he needs it. I know I need it. I’m a creature of habit. Routines come easily, but are hard to get out of.