Home the Saturday after Thanksgiving

So it was very difficult having dad in the hospital on Thanksgiving day. I knew that it would be even harder on mom so I had fretted about having as normal of a day as I could for her, and it had finally come. I cooked a 20 lb turkey and some of the trimmings, my sister brought a few dishes over. We all tried to have a good day, it was difficult not having dad home. After we ate the family dispersed fairly quickly, which was sad for me because it was over so soon. Dad wanted me to bring him some pumpkin pie when I came up to see him. He didn't really get to eat any, he was still too sick.

On Saturday Mike and I had gone up to Raleigh to unwind at Borders. It had just been so hard on me with everything that had been happening to dad. We had just sat down and I remember getting my coffee and picking out a book to read when mom called. She said they were going to release dad from the hospital and she needed me to come and get them. I was overwhelmed and I was trying to figure out a way to get out of having to take on that responsibility. I really feel horrible about that now, but it was just my emotions at the time. We finally made it to the hospital an hour later and dad was still waiting in his room to be checked out. Teresa and Gary were there as well. We all were sort of shocked that he was going home so soon. None of us believed he was ready, but his doctor did... I drove him and mom back to the house while Mike followed in our car. I remember I drove so carefully. I think I literally held my breath all the way home. I had to be so aware of stopping and starting and turning corners. I was carrying home a very sick and delicate man that I wanted to make as comfortable as possible. It seemed so foreign to me having to help my dad out of the car and into the house. It took us all, Teresa, Gary, Mike, mom and me, to help dad. He had no strength, no leg muscles to lift and move his body up those steps. After we had done that, I was suddenly aware that dad wasn't the man that I had spent the spring fishing with, he was a shell, a very fragile shell.

Once he got settled into the living room and in the recliner, he wrapped up in a soft blue throw and tried to acclimate as best he could. We all thought this was the beginning of recovery. He had a hard time those first few days. Mom didn't know what to do to help him, and dad was trying to learn how to empty his own ileostopy bag. He was actually walking back and forth to the bathroom to empty his bag. He started eating more and more, but everyday he weighed and he kept losing weight. Till finally 11 days later we took dad back to his doctor to find out what was going on.