The week following December 12th

It was really nice that we were able to spend that special day with dad on the 12th. He was very happy with how things turned out.

Sunday, dad had a steady stream of visitors from his church. He is well loved and he received everyone very gracefully and stoically. Many family members started coming in from out of town to visit. I hadn't seen most of these people in over 20 years. They all seemed to notice that I wasn't the thin fellow I use to be, and they all seemed to comment on that, which really bothers me... I'll have a different neurosis after this is all over...

Monday a hospice facilitator came out and we learned that they could provide dad with a lawyer. I had already made an appointment with one the previous week, but this was much better. After a quick phone call, the lawyer that worked with hospice came out to the house. We met with him and dad discussed his wishes. Dad had hand written his will the past Friday so it was a simple task. So, with great relief, by Tuesday this would be final.

Dad gave me Power of Attorney over his health care. I didn't know about the health care part. With great relief it was made clear that hospice would take the responsibility of "pulling the plug" as it were, I sighed in relief. I was concerned that I was taking all of this away from mom, but she assured me that it was fine. I was genuinely surprised that dad would give me this responsibility. I had never been one to step up to any responsibility in the past. Apparently dad knew I needed this to restore my confidence. I dove right into it and I didn’t seem to second guess myself. I had everything he needed done within a week. Contacted all of his insurance companies, his retirement issuers, called people, and even started helping him with his Ileostomy bag. He had asked me to learn how to do that in case no one was available. When I first watched the nurse take it off and change it out and clean him up I thought I would fall out on the spot. I’ve always had a tendency towards being squeamish. I’ve mastered it now and he likes it when I change it out. He says I have a knack for care giving. He told me I was his right hand man. That didn’t help my attempt at being stoic.

Tuesday, hospice came out to bring dad a hospital bed. It was decided that it would be placed in front of the living room window. That was a good decision because not only could he be a part of everything, but he’d have the best view in the house. The two large windows that are against his bed are the same length as the bed, so he’d have a nice view of the trees and the birds and the morning sun. There were so many people visiting dad when the bed finally came that mom and I were very frustrated with the situation. Dad was tired and we had to get everything out of the room and yet there were at least 12 people standing or sitting in the kitchen. No one seemed to understand that they needed to leave...