On the way home from the Doctors visit that morning, the one where we found out that dad was dying and only had a short time left, we stopped at the post office for some reason or another. I think mom had to mail a letter, or a bill. I was driving the van and dad was sitting in the front seat beside me. I couldn't speak to him without crying. I was so overwhelmed.
When we got home Dad settled into his recliner and called me and mom into the living room. Mom and I were still in shock from what the doctor had just told us a few hours ago. He asked me to go get some personal effects for him. We all three sat in the living room and dad gave us a few things, along with instructions, necessary for carrying out his first wishes. We all three tried so hard to hold it together, but it was an impossibility. The floodgates had been opened, and until all the water ran through them, it would be a while before it would be dry. He instructed us to go out and buy Christmas from him to the family.
For the past couple of years dad would always buy us something useful, but he'd present us with something odd first. An example would be the one Christmas my sisters and I each received a plastic spatula. I assume, like me, they thought "ok, maybe I need a spatula..." Then later in the evening we'd get the actual gift, which was an electric skillet. See, you can’t use a metal spatula on the skillet, it will scratch the Teflon off. So per instructions by dad I had to find three sets of really nice cookware for myself and my two sisters. I had to find a hand towel, because you need to hand towel to wash the pots and dry them immediately so they won’t spot. I also needed to find two sets of jewelry for both of my nieces. I suggested a keepsake jewelry box to the put the jewelry in, which he thought was a good idea. He also wanted me to go out and buy mom a new stove. Mom didn’t want one just yet. I understand now, it was too much for her to handle.
So basically my dad came home from the doctor’s visit with a sense of urgency to take care of things. He didn’t think he’d be here at Christmas time so he wanted to have Christmas on the 12th. I can only imagine what was going through his mind at the time. I know I was being driven by this latest task of getting Christmas together, so I didn’t have time to grieve too much. My mom on the other hand was a basket case.
As we got into the car to drive to Raleigh, she just let it all go. I supported her the best I could. I was overwhelmed myself and had never had to help anyone through a situation like this. My uncle stayed with dad while mom and I were out and about. We ended up going to Crabtree. The first place we went was to Things Remembered. We found a nice silver heart shaped jewelry box. It played “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. We both cried when we listened to it in the store. I’m sure the sales clerk wondered what she had gotten herself into. We had them both engraved to say “I will Love you always… Grandpa" Afterwards we went to Belks and found three sets of really nice Emeril Lagasse cookware sets. Dad wanted me to haggle… I don’t haggle, but I did for him. We then found three really nice dish towels. Dad also wanted me to pick up a gift for my two brother-in-laws and Mike. So I found them all three a collectors knife set. After having everything gift wrapped we headed home.
My sisters came over that night and they put up the Christmas tree. I had to call dad’s brothers to tell them the news about dad. It was difficult, but it was a task that dad gave me. He seemed to know that if he kept me busy, he’d keep my mind off of grieving. I did quite a bit of that when I went home at night. I just couldn’t get over this. It was hard.
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