Dad

I have so many things that I want to say about my dad, but know I can only say so much. He was a multi-faceted person. He was like an onion in that he had so many different layers of wonderful and unique qualities that you just had to get to know him to uncover. Obviously dad was a gentle, soft spoken man. He was a good listener and he always put great thought behind each word that he spoke. You always knew he was listening to you as you talked to him. You could just look at him and see that he was absorbing your words, and then when you finished talking you would always have a sense of anticipation as to what his response would be. He always gave the best advice in that he never just gave you the answer you wanted to hear. He was true to his convictions and to his experience with life.

Dad was the man that if you were hanging at the end of your rope and on the verge of falling on your face, you could simply call upon him and know that he’d do everything in his power to keep you from falling. If you did fall he’d pick you up and he’d help you find your footing in life once more. You knew that he wouldn’t be judgmental or hard on you. He’d just offer you compassion and understanding.
Dad had a wealth of knowledge on every subject from nature, to fishing and hunting, to woodworking, cooking, metal smith and gardening. His constant desire to learn and do was amazing. He was so full of ideas and he wanted to do so many things. He loved to work with his hands and he appreciated nothing more than a good mechanical problem that begged to be solved. He could come up with some of the most ingenious solutions. That’s one of the things that I’ll miss the most about dad. You could always count on him to have an answer for something you were at a loss about.

Dad loved his family; he loved his friends, and anyone that just happened to grace the surface of his life. He worked with diligence and determination. He had this way about him that wasn’t necessarily one of doing a job perfectly, but doing the best he could, and he always pushed that in everything he did. If you ever had the opportunity to work with dad or help him on a project, he would guide you along in such a way that would allow you to leave the task with better knowledge of what you had done. He was a good teacher, and a good companion to have in life.

Even when dad was going through the first stages of his illness, he persevered. Between going back and forth to the doctor and having tests run, he would push himself through his pain and discomfort to continue his work and doing the things he enjoyed. One thing that stands out in my mind was how he worked on his creek boat. He had a modification that he wanted to do so that he could use an electric motor with foot petals to steer the boat. He successfully did that and with such excitement he enjoyed sharing how he did it. He took great pleasure in getting to spend what time he could with his boat on the river. We spent early spring through midsummer fishing in his favorite places. He would call me on his good days and want to go to fishing, and he did it in such a way that I was clueless that he was as sick as he was. I knew that he had some health issues, but not what it ended up being. We’d get up early in the morning and load up the boat and the trailer and head out. He’d have such anticipation and excitement that you just would never know that he wasn’t doing well physically. Even in his pain he never complained and he would go about doing things the way he always did and he’d see each task through til the end. You could still count on dad even when he was going through the worst.

What was amazing to me was how dad micro-managed his care from day one after his diagnosis. When he became bedridden he would look at every aspect of what was happening to him and he would get past the hurdles of it. He made it easy on us, his caretakers, by giving us guidance when he saw we needed it. When he would see us wrestling with a task, he’d stop us midway through and he’d walk us through it. The next time we did that same task it would be easy and efficiently done because of his earlier guidance. Throughout the entirety of this dad always had a grace about him and he could teach you things without you even knowing it. It was a great pleasure helping dad and no matter who it was that was helping him through his illness, he always had that gentleness about him, that warm smile of appreciation.

His final lesson in life, at least to me, and hopefully everyone that knew him, was how to properly live your life and then leave when it was time. He never struggled, never complained, he always greeted people with that same welcoming smile and open spirit. He accepted everything with grace and he appreciated every simple thing that was done for him. He left us knowing that we were ready and that we’d be ok in a life without him.